And it stuck, and it rings true.... with an exception that sometimes that person can cause not just one, but both.
I had a flash of an old memory, no, it's not a memory, it's an old "wonder". A "curious", somewhat erotic, fantasy. It reminded me that I've never been a fan of postponing meets because too much time leaves too much room for you to place someone on a pedestal and saddle them with unrealistic expectations. Especially sexually. When fantasizing, they become the most exquisite lover imaginable, specifically tailored to YOUR likes, your freaks, your kinks. Then after the long wait and that moment finally arrives, you find the roaring fires you once fantasized about are actually a match that's been wet halfway down the stick so the fire fizzles out with no real "burn". Youve long awaited the burn, you craved the burn, you need the burn.
Disappointment.... and its no one's fault... except the length of time it took to get to that point and simple human curiosity.
Is that time wasted though? All of your thoughts, your fantasies, the time you set aside to keep that person fresh in your mind, to give that person "worth" to you...... is that wasted?
I'm torn. I'm really torn about what to think, how to feel, what to do.....and none of this even begins to cover the "ugly" that's been encapsulated between the "beautiful".
The first person I think of in the morning and the last person I think of in the night is the cause of my happiness and the cause of my pain.
And at some point, I'm sure that person will read this
No comments:
Post a Comment