His kisses are so soft, like spun sugar
His touch is so gentle yet commanding
The way he moves about my body,
like a skilled craftsman modeling his muse
This isn't sex,
nor is it any where near fucking
Its a possession
A possession of my body, my mind, my soul
And it just keeps getting better
Each time different from the last
A level deeper
A firmer embrace on my conscienceness
In my mind, he dances through my days
And at night he is the warm breeze
That fans the flames of my heady desire
He is my morning rising
What began so simply in July
Has picked up speed, gained momentum
Gave itself a purpose
And haunts my sex
"It only gets better".....
The words that taunt me
So true
Promising more, even when I believe
there couldn't possibly be more
The surprise
The delivery
The awe
He's overwhelming me
And god I can't help myself
**Please Note, this is Copywritten by me.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Saturday, February 15, 2014
It takes a lot to get me to cry,
Yet here I am.
I pride myself on being a strong woman, I've endured a lot in my lifetime and have always managed to get through.
Circumstances as of late though have been just a bit more than I am willing to tolerate. More than I'm willing to try to handle.
The person im supposed to help fights me on way too many things. I don't have the strength anylonger. I don't have the WANT to help any longer.
My time is being wasted.
My kindness taken for weakness.
My forgiveness taken for granted.
My friendship, underrated.
It's enough to make a good person go bad. I refuse to allow that to happen, but I will be removing people from my life. People I have no use for.
I'm fresh out of "give a damn" and full of fuck yous.
I just can't take it anymore.
New Year, time for a new me.
I pride myself on being a strong woman, I've endured a lot in my lifetime and have always managed to get through.
Circumstances as of late though have been just a bit more than I am willing to tolerate. More than I'm willing to try to handle.
The person im supposed to help fights me on way too many things. I don't have the strength anylonger. I don't have the WANT to help any longer.
My time is being wasted.
My kindness taken for weakness.
My forgiveness taken for granted.
My friendship, underrated.
It's enough to make a good person go bad. I refuse to allow that to happen, but I will be removing people from my life. People I have no use for.
I'm fresh out of "give a damn" and full of fuck yous.
I just can't take it anymore.
New Year, time for a new me.
Monday, February 10, 2014
Hello old friend, I'm back once again
I've always prided myself on being the type of person who doesn't give up on people. I don't view people as disposable and believe that people are put in your life for a reason. I think I've learned a new lesson.
My lesson is that some people are put in your life to help you to learn how to better love and respect yourself.
No one deserves to be ignored.
No one deserves to be disrespected.
No one deserves to be made to feel as though they don't matter.
No one deserves to be made to feel they are unimportant.
No one deserves to give of their heart freely with nothing in return.
The list goes on.
I allowed myself, just for a brief moment to feel like I've given up on someone, when the whole time the person I gave up on was me. I completely forgot my own worth.
While the death of any relationship is always hard, I will be focusing on all the positives I brought to the table and remember that it's not a "me" issue.
My only sadness is that this person is lost and continues to lose things that were placed in their life to help them heal. I truly, with all my heart, wish them well.
And now that I'm free, now that the weight is lifted from carrying their pains, now that I've rediscovered that I really LIKE the person I am......
Anything is possible again
My lesson is that some people are put in your life to help you to learn how to better love and respect yourself.
No one deserves to be ignored.
No one deserves to be disrespected.
No one deserves to be made to feel as though they don't matter.
No one deserves to be made to feel they are unimportant.
No one deserves to give of their heart freely with nothing in return.
The list goes on.
I allowed myself, just for a brief moment to feel like I've given up on someone, when the whole time the person I gave up on was me. I completely forgot my own worth.
While the death of any relationship is always hard, I will be focusing on all the positives I brought to the table and remember that it's not a "me" issue.
My only sadness is that this person is lost and continues to lose things that were placed in their life to help them heal. I truly, with all my heart, wish them well.
And now that I'm free, now that the weight is lifted from carrying their pains, now that I've rediscovered that I really LIKE the person I am......
Anything is possible again
Sunday, February 9, 2014
and today
You consistently speak of your requirement for communication, yet can't handle it when you receive it.
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Ohhhh how this resonates with me right now
"Uninvited"
Like anyone would be
I am flattered by your fascination with me
Like any hot-blooded woman
I have simply wanted an object to crave
But you, you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepherd need shepherd
But you you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before
But this is not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
I don't think you unworthy
I need a moment to deliberate
I am flattered by your fascination with me
Like any hot-blooded woman
I have simply wanted an object to crave
But you, you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepherd need shepherd
But you you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before
But this is not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
I don't think you unworthy
I need a moment to deliberate
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Wake Up Buttercup
Sometimes I assign importance to people who really don't deserve it.
As I go through this life of mine, I try to grow and become a better person than who I am currently (not that where I'm at isn't great already, but we can all Learn and grow). Sometimes though, I way overcompensate. I treat everyone in my life special, mostly because the way I grew up was feeling unimportant, but that's a whole 'nother blog, book actually. The thing is, I would really hate for anyone to feel like they don't matter, especially to me.
This brings me to the people, who take kindness for weakness. Who don't appreciate friendship. Mannerless neanderthals who have self-inflated egos that with added attention, only get worse.
I need to do better about ridding myself of toxic people. No matter how much they thought they've changed. Truth be told, bad is bad and if bad doesn't recognize itself, it can never improve. It can never heal. It can never grow.
Im going to try to do this cleansing in 2014. I don't rid myself of people easily, because I begin to feel badly about it. Like I've abandoned someone who needs help. But who appointed me that position? No one. I'm not responsible for fixing something I didn't break, and I deserve SO much better.
Forewarning..... its going to be a very interesting year.
As I go through this life of mine, I try to grow and become a better person than who I am currently (not that where I'm at isn't great already, but we can all Learn and grow). Sometimes though, I way overcompensate. I treat everyone in my life special, mostly because the way I grew up was feeling unimportant, but that's a whole 'nother blog, book actually. The thing is, I would really hate for anyone to feel like they don't matter, especially to me.
This brings me to the people, who take kindness for weakness. Who don't appreciate friendship. Mannerless neanderthals who have self-inflated egos that with added attention, only get worse.
I need to do better about ridding myself of toxic people. No matter how much they thought they've changed. Truth be told, bad is bad and if bad doesn't recognize itself, it can never improve. It can never heal. It can never grow.
Im going to try to do this cleansing in 2014. I don't rid myself of people easily, because I begin to feel badly about it. Like I've abandoned someone who needs help. But who appointed me that position? No one. I'm not responsible for fixing something I didn't break, and I deserve SO much better.
Forewarning..... its going to be a very interesting year.
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Saturday Morning
I recently read this.....
And it stuck, and it rings true.... with an exception that sometimes that person can cause not just one, but both.
I had a flash of an old memory, no, it's not a memory, it's an old "wonder". A "curious", somewhat erotic, fantasy. It reminded me that I've never been a fan of postponing meets because too much time leaves too much room for you to place someone on a pedestal and saddle them with unrealistic expectations. Especially sexually. When fantasizing, they become the most exquisite lover imaginable, specifically tailored to YOUR likes, your freaks, your kinks. Then after the long wait and that moment finally arrives, you find the roaring fires you once fantasized about are actually a match that's been wet halfway down the stick so the fire fizzles out with no real "burn". Youve long awaited the burn, you craved the burn, you need the burn.
Disappointment.... and its no one's fault... except the length of time it took to get to that point and simple human curiosity.
Is that time wasted though? All of your thoughts, your fantasies, the time you set aside to keep that person fresh in your mind, to give that person "worth" to you...... is that wasted?
I'm torn. I'm really torn about what to think, how to feel, what to do.....and none of this even begins to cover the "ugly" that's been encapsulated between the "beautiful".
The first person I think of in the morning and the last person I think of in the night is the cause of my happiness and the cause of my pain.
And at some point, I'm sure that person will read this
And it stuck, and it rings true.... with an exception that sometimes that person can cause not just one, but both.
I had a flash of an old memory, no, it's not a memory, it's an old "wonder". A "curious", somewhat erotic, fantasy. It reminded me that I've never been a fan of postponing meets because too much time leaves too much room for you to place someone on a pedestal and saddle them with unrealistic expectations. Especially sexually. When fantasizing, they become the most exquisite lover imaginable, specifically tailored to YOUR likes, your freaks, your kinks. Then after the long wait and that moment finally arrives, you find the roaring fires you once fantasized about are actually a match that's been wet halfway down the stick so the fire fizzles out with no real "burn". Youve long awaited the burn, you craved the burn, you need the burn.
Disappointment.... and its no one's fault... except the length of time it took to get to that point and simple human curiosity.
Is that time wasted though? All of your thoughts, your fantasies, the time you set aside to keep that person fresh in your mind, to give that person "worth" to you...... is that wasted?
I'm torn. I'm really torn about what to think, how to feel, what to do.....and none of this even begins to cover the "ugly" that's been encapsulated between the "beautiful".
The first person I think of in the morning and the last person I think of in the night is the cause of my happiness and the cause of my pain.
And at some point, I'm sure that person will read this
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